I hate my job. I dont want to go to work. I dislike working 3-11 shifts. blah. Work sux big time. I hafta get ready now and I absolutely have nothing to wear... which reminds me, I hafta do my laundry tomorrow.

I know why I feel somewhat depressed. Today was supposed to be "our anniversary". Ugh...I told myself I wasnt going to let this get to me. Listening to Dangerously In Love isnt helping.

I need to get out. I need to do something. I want to move out. I wanna live somewhere else. I wanna start a new life in a whole different city. I just want a fresh start.

Im finally home. bleh. I'd rather be at Amira and Marisol's house. I miss being with them already. I dont like being at home anymore. At least, I get to put my troubles/problems aside when Im at their house. Im feeling kinda down right now. For what reason? I do not know. I have Destiny's Child's Emotions on repeat....listening to this song reminds me of the events that has happened these past couple of days. *sigh*

It's over and done
but the heartache lives on inside
And who's the one you're clinging to
instead of me tonight?

And where are you now, now that I need you?
Tears on my pillow wherever you go
I'll cry me a river that leads to your ocean
You never see me fall apart

In the words of a broken heart
It's just emotion that's taken me over
Caught up in sorrow, lost in my soul
But if you don't come back
Come home to me, darling
Dont you know there's nobody left in this world
to hold me tight
Dont cha know there's nobody left in this world to kiss goodnight
Goodnight, goodnight

I'm there at your side,
I'm part of all the things you are
But you've got a part of someone else
You've got to find your shining star

And where are you now, now that I need you?
Tears on my pillow wherever you go
I'll cry me a river that leads to your ocean
You never see me fall apart...

Yesterday morning, Amira and I took her mom to the doctor's office. We also went to her little brother's school b/c he almost got in a fight. We, then picked her mom up and went to Super Target to get a couple of things. I got some Got2B hair products and these chocolate covered almonds, coated with powdered sugar. Mmmm...Yummy! I also got some Caramel Frappachino(sp) at Starbucks. After all that running around, we came home. Her mom cooked this mexican dish...to die for. It was chicken breast with this green sauce and had mexican rice to go with it. Soooo goood! I was like "May I have seconds?" *lol* While eating, we watch Spanish soap operas. I didnt too much understand but u can sorta figure it out just by watching their actions. From time to time, I'd ask Amira to translate. Her mom said she was gonna teach me to cook some Mexican food. I can hardly wait. An hour later, we headed to my house to get more clothes. I was going to spend another night again. After getting all of my stuff together, Amira dropped me off at work. booo. I didnt wanna go. Marisol and Alicia, on the other hand went out. I heard that Alicia bought a Kenneth Cole purse. I havent seen it yet. hmm...what else? Oh yeah, while I was at work last night..my mom and sisters came to see me. Vanessa was like "When are you coming home?" looking all mad n stuph *lol* I havent been home in two days nor has she seen me in 3 whole days. The same goes for D.A. She's all like "I miss you". Aww. When I got off from work...Amira, Marisol, and I went to my house to get a few things. Nessa answered the door and was like "Amira, you better give me back my sister" *lol* They miss me that much? Im touched -hehe- Anyways....Amira, Marisol, and I are suppose to run some errands today. We have to wait til Amira comes back though. Amira and her mom went to the doctor's office cuz her brother, Angel got sick. Marisol and I are just chilling at the house, listening to some Usher and Ginuwine. We rearranged her room and now she's mopping the whole house. I just saw Usher's You Got It Bad video for the first time. The vid is pretty cool...Chili from TLC and Usher has great chemistry together. Well...Im off to watch some more videos. Later.

Note To Myself
Dont forget to download these songs:
-=- Lifetime by Prophet Jones
-=- Gangsta by Lil Mo
-=- What Am I Gonna Do by Tyrese
-=- Yo Si Me Enamore by Huey Dunbar (Marisol got me listening to Spanish music *lol*)
-=- Con Cada Beso by Huey Dunbar
-=- Lo Siento(salsa version) by Huey Dunbar ft. Lucero
-=- Lo Siento(ballad version) by Huey Dunbar ft. Lucero *** Both versions are really nice***
-=- Ella by Huey Dunbar
-=- Chikicha by Huey Dunbar

=*=*= I might have to borrow her cd. No, scratch that..Im DEFINATELY gonna borrow it. Im really liking this :P

The day before I had such a fantastic time with Alicia, Amira, and Marisol. Before we went out, I went with Amira and her mom to run a few errands. Her mom is sooo nice! She said I was one of her "daughters". Yay :) She treats me like one though so that'll work. When her mom gets ready to leave to go anywhere, she gives me a kiss on the cheek like one of her kids. I feel so special *big ol' smile* After we picked Marisol up from work, we called Ali and asked her if she wanted to go The Galleria with us. Of course she jumped at the chance. We proceeded to pick her up at the U of H campus. She skipped class just so she can hang with us. Arent we special? =Þ We finally arrived at The Galleria. We went to Dillard's first so I can buy this CK Jeans that I've had my eye on for awhile. I also purchased this cute nail polish from Chanel. It was called Irise Quick Frost. What possessed me to buy a twenty dollar something nail polish? Dont even ask. It was purdy tho =| After that, we went purse/handbag hunting. Keep in mind that Alicia and Marisol and purse freaks. Here are the stores that we've gone to looking at purses...in no particular order.

1. Coach
2. DKNY
3. Louie Vutton
4. Prada
5. Gucci
6. Dooney & Burke
7. Saks
8. Macy's
9. Neiman Marcus
10. Dillard's

Marisol and Alicia were in awe at all the cute purses. Why was Alicia even contemplating on buying a Louie Vutton planner binder for 300 bucks? I'd rather buy clothes with 300 dollars, but that's just me. We also stopped at other stores such as Eddie Bauer, Gap, and Mac. All that walking around made us hungry so we ate at the Cheesecake Factory... a really nice restaurant. I would go more into details, but Im too lazy *lol* I ended up spending the night at Amira and Marisol's house again. We also saw the National Mexican Futbol League at The Galleria. Alicia and I were teasing Marisol and Amira talking about there goes yall future husbands. -LOL- It was so funny.

Im at Amira & Marisol's house. Im spending the night here. I would stay up much longer, but their Aol is acting up. I went out with the gals again which includes Ali, Amira, and Marisol. I had such a great time! I'd go more into details about the whole thing, but Im sleepy. I'll just write about it when I go home. Nitey nite :)


Note To Brian:
Here's all the info you need to go to my room.
*iRC server: Webnet
*channel: #h-town

Im talking to Mostafa and Ali on iRc. They're cracking me up as usual.

[12:59:08am] @moose`: get it out
[12:59:11am] @Sharon-: what image??
* @moose` hits his head
[12:59:17am] @moose`: get it fuckin out
[12:59:32am] @moose`: he can suck his own crusty dick
[12:59:35am] @moose`: that
[12:59:35am] @Sharon-: hahahaahahah
[12:59:40am] @moose`: dumb ali
[12:59:41am] @Sharon-: lol
[12:59:43am] @Sharon-: ROFL
[12:59:44am] @Sharon-: LMAO
* @moose` runs in circles
* @Sharon- puts her foot out
[1:00:02am] @Sharon-: lol
* @moose` jumps over your foot
[1:00:22am] @moose`: =P
[1:00:31am] @Sharon-: darn
[1:01:40am] @moose`: shhhh
[1:01:48am] @moose`: why isn't she talkin
[1:01:52am] @moose`: she hates me
[1:01:55am] @moose`: :~(
[1:02:09am] @Sharon-: No she doesnt. She's uhm...
[1:02:19am] @Sharon-: Well uh...who knows what she's doing
[1:02:38am] @moose`: haha i think I do...hey get out of yout pants!
[1:02:44am] @moose`: your*
[1:03:02am] @Sharon-: LOL
[1:03:57am] @Alicia-: i was looking at my future car
[1:04:02am] @Alicia-: nuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmmm
[1:04:04am] @Alicia-: hopefully
[1:04:09am] @Alicia-: i need to be on a tight budget
[1:04:43am] @Sharon-: uh huh
[1:04:47am] @moose`: yeah riggt
[1:04:50am] @moose`: vroom vroom

[1:12:13am] @Alicia-: talk to the coach man?
[1:12:17am] @Sharon-: i dunno yet
[1:12:22am] @Sharon-: i forgot
[1:12:24am] @Sharon-: to ask her
[1:12:28am] @Sharon-: well ill ask her tomorrow
[1:12:31am] @Alicia-: ok
[1:12:36am] @moose`: .....
[1:12:39am] @Alicia-: i got school tomorrow
[1:12:39am] @Sharon-: im gonna go to bed yall
[1:12:41am] @Sharon-: aww
[1:12:41am] @Alicia-: i feel like skipping
[1:12:44am] @Sharon-: LOL i bet moosie's
[1:12:45am] @Alicia-: for some reason
[1:12:46am] @Sharon-: wondering
[1:12:51am] @moose`: wha
[1:12:53am] @Sharon-: who the "coachman" is
[1:12:55am] @Sharon-: haha
[1:12:56am] @moose`: yeah
[1:13:00am] @moose`: this is true
[1:13:02am] @Sharon-: lol
[1:13:12am] @Sharon-: well...he's the coach man
[1:13:14am] @Sharon-: HAHAHA
[1:13:16am] @moose`: you wanna tell me boo
[1:13:19am] @moose`: ali
[1:13:21am] @moose`: ali boo
[1:13:23am] @moose`: you my boo
[1:13:26am] @Alicia-: OMG
[1:13:29am] @moose`: you my ali boo
[1:13:30am] @moose`: !
[1:13:32am] @Alicia-: i so HATE boo
[1:13:34am] @Alicia-: no
[1:13:37am] @Alicia-: my name is Alicia
[1:13:43am] @Alicia-: that is what my mother named me
[1:13:47am] @Alicia-: that is what you will call me
[1:13:49am] @Alicia-: Alicia
[1:13:50am] @Sharon-: LOL
[1:13:52am] @moose`: ALI boo hun gimmie a foot rub
[1:13:58am] @Alicia-: Ms. Forde if ya nasty
[1:14:12am] @moose`: your*
[1:14:20am] @moose`: <----foot rub
[1:14:25am] @moose`: <=====now!
[1:14:37am] @Alicia-: i love thtat song
[1:14:49am] @moose`: no song..
[1:14:51am] @Alicia-: clinteastwood

[1:15:56am] @moose`: pwease
[1:15:57am] @Sharon-: lmao
[1:16:15am] @moose`: :} <----cute face
* @Alicia- picks up mooses feet
[1:16:29am] @Alicia-: takes off his socks
[1:16:32am] @moose`: damn right
* @Alicia- takes out the lotion
[1:16:49am] @moose`: oOoOoO
* @Alicia- takes out the knives and slashes your feet up
[1:16:56am] @moose`: fuck
[1:16:58am] @moose`: hey~!
[1:16:59am] @Sharon-: hah
[1:17:01am] @Alicia-: got damn your foot rub
[1:17:10am] @Sharon-: my my arent we violent
* @moose` limps out of the channel
[1:17:31am] @moose`: all i asked for is a foot rub from my ALIBOO
[1:17:35am] @moose`: but nooo!
[1:17:39am] @Alicia-: omg

Mostafa's away or something so Im gonna continue listening to Usher. His whole cd is pretty good. I recommend it. I have quite a few favorite songs off this album like Can You Help Me and You Got It Bad. I'd go on and on, but I'd rather not. Anyway, there's this one song that caught my attention. Here's the lyrics:

If love was a bird
Then we wouldn't have wings
If love was a sky
We'd be blue
If love was a choir
You and I could never sing
Cause love isn't for me and you

If love was an Oscar
You and I could never win
Cause we can never act out our parts
If love is the Bible
Then we are lost in sin
Because its not in our hearts

So why don't you go your way
And I'll go mine
Live your life, and I'll live mine
Baby you'll do well, and I'll be fine
Cause we're better off, separated

If love was a fire
Then we have lost the spark
Love never felt so cold
If love was a light
Then we're lost in the dark
Left with no one to hold

If love was a sport
We're not on the same team
You and I are destined to lose
If love was an ocean
Then we are just a stream
Cause love isn't for me and you

So why don't you go your way
And I'll go mine
Live your life, and I'll live mine
Baby you'll do well, and I'll be fine
Cause we're better off, separated

Girl I know we had some good times
It's sad but now we gotta say goodbye
Girl you know I love you, I can't deny
I can't say we didn't try to make it work for you and I
I know it hurts so much but it's best for us
Somewhere along this windy road we lost the trust
So I'll walk away so you don't have to see me cry
It's killing me so, why don't you go

Today was such a sluggish day. I went to work like I normally do and felt fine. Around noonish, my head started throbbing. A killer headache is about to come on...havent had those in awhile. Yup, just as I expected..it came through. This headache was so intense that it made me vomit. Yes..it's gross. Believe me I know. I looked in the mirror and didnt like what I saw. I looked so old and beat down. You should see the bags under my eyes. I have to do something about this. My health has totally declined. I dont feel energized as I used to. Im always tired and cant seem to get enough sleep. I dont eat properly..all I seem to eat is junk food and I havent exercised in years. Ok, Im exaggerating, but you get the picture. I should start getting in shape like what Brian is doing. Work was okay today. I talked to Eric. He's pretty cool. I like when he works with me cuz I know I can count on him doing his job. Well, he's a customer service rep, like moi so he better know what he's doing. I enjoy talking with him. He's funny too...funny as someone who's got a sense of humor..not the other way around. -LOL- Speaking of that...Roneasha and I once talked about how Eric sometimes acted gay. He says he isnt. He isnt *chuckles* Eric, dont trip...I know you're not gay! -hehehe- Anyway, we chitchatted about relationships and how the opposite sex acted. I talked to Monica and Genetta aswell. They've been very understanding and helpful. Talking to them about my feelings and what Im going through has helped me alot. I feel much better knowing there's people out there that have gone through the same thing. I mean, I already knew that. It's just that this is all new to me. I've never experienced a major breakup before. Robert and I have broken up before, but we always got back together. Not this time though. I feel it in my heart. Things are very different now. For the past couple of days, my anger towards him has simmered down. I actually want him to be happy. I even want him to find himself a new gf in hopes that he'll finally be able to be with someone physically. You're probably thinking Im crazy. Am I? Nah, I dont think so. I've had a change of heart and finally put myself in his shoes. The distance between us is what drove us apart. I understand now why he made that choice. Although, he should have picked a more appropriate way of breaking up. Well, I can honestly say that our three year relationship wasnt all that bad. Of course, we had our good times aswell as bad ones. What relationship hasnt? Im not going to lie. I know for a fact Im gonna miss him, but I hope that goes away soon. I dont like being miserable, but I do want him to be happy. Hopefully, he fulfills all of his dreams and goals. As cheesy and corny as that sounds, I really want that to happen to him. Im exhausted so I'll stop for now. Im gonna talk to Mostafa. I need to talk to someone right now. Listening to Usher's You Got It Bad isnt helping.

Woke up this morning and guess what I got? More memos from the one and only Robert.

"So stop making yourself look so bad, all your little people reading your blog are going to think you are easy, cause you are all like, boo hoo, then the next day 'man i am gonna hook up with every guy!'"
--- First of all, Im not easy and everyone knows that. Secondly, I did not say I was going to hook up with anyone and if I did whats it to you? We are no longer together so I do as I please.

"its kinda funny reading your blog after all this, cause you try to act like you dont care what happened, an example being 'there is this really nice looking guy at work' blah blah blah, heh, save it Sharon, its obvious what you are trying to do, i no longer get jealous over you."
--- I try to act like I dont care what happened? Actually, I do. I said I was hurt, but I refuse to let this shit get to me. Oh and the comment about the guy? Why would you even care if I think he's hot or not? Remember we arent a couple anymore so if I happen to think the opposite sex is good looking, it shouldnt matter to you. Besides, you no longer get jealous over me. You said so yourself.

"you know Sharon, you are right i wont meet anyone like you again, people tend to differ from each other, so you do speak the truth, but i know this, i will meet someone that makes me happy and someone better than you. You write your blog like you are all mighty, like you are the ideal girlfriend, you arent, so dont be fulll of yourself. you cant hold my life back anymore. im done"
--- Omg...you actually had the nerve to say that? Bravo. I am so proud of you! It's about time you speak up. It's funny how you couldnt even do that to your so called "friends". Let's see..ah yes...true enough, you might find yourself a gf thats better than me. If you do, good for you. So, I talk like Im all high and mighty, like Im the ideal gf? Well, thats the truth *LOL* Seriously, I might not have been your ideal gf, but to someone else I am. btw, you werent much of a bf either. So what if Im not perfect. No one is. As for you saying I cant hold back your life anymore...the same goes for me.

The relationship between us is over Robert. I already told you I want nothing to do with you. Why do you feel the need to contact me?
Why do you even read my blogs? You broke up with me, you said you wanted to experience life, wanted to explore other things. Why dont you do just that? Dont worry about me anymore and I'll do the same. This breakup has been a wake up call for me. Sure, Im still hurting and the pain is still there, but that's only natural. In due time, it will all go away. I am trying to move on with my life now so I advise you to the same. If anything, this breakup is the best thing thats happened for the both of us. Why stay in a relationship and be miserable when we both can achieve happiness apart?

Just got home from work. I am soooooo sleepy. We were busy at first, bust then it slowed down. I could barely keep my eyes open. I was so thankful when we got out of there. I need my sleep, I hafta work 10-6 tomorrow. Eriberto aka Eddie is taking me out to the movies to cheer me up after work tomorrow. Isn't that nice of him? He made my day by getting me the new Jay Z cd. Not only that, but he got me this kickass mood ring in the shape of a dolphin from his trip to Galveston. Im spoiled, arent I? -hehe- Eddie rawks! He is such a nice friend. I mean way beyond nice. He'll go out of his way to help you out no matter what. He spoils my sisters too, buying and getting them all sorts of things. I read Brian's Blog. Whoa..he went to church? *lol* Im only teasing man. Sorry I missed ya in church. I stayed at home cuz I wasnt feeling too well. I noticed you're quite the writer there. I got you hooked eh? Man, ur blogs always makes me laugh. Yeah Yeah Yeah, you actually have a sense of humor. Now dont let it get to that big head of yours. -haha- Just playing man :P Btw, when are you and Elliot coming over to visit us? hmm...what else? Oh yeah... I want to thank all of my friends for cheering me up and showing that you actually care about my well being. You guys are the greatest *huggles* Well, Im going to bed but first I just hafta mention this. There's this really, really, really nice looking guy at work. Too bad he works overnight =| He looks sooo good in his white tank. haha Ok, I'll stop feening. I dunno his name...I think it's Matt or something. *shrugs*

Gotta get dressed. I just got off the phone with Ali and Marisol. Im going to the nail place with them to get our nails done. wOo hOo This will totally make my day. *lol* Im not sure if Amira's going. I hope she does. t00dlez *waves*

I went on irc today and Ali left a topic saying she's got something written for me in her blog. Im touched, it brought tears to my eyes. Glad to know that someone out there knows what Im going through or where Im coming from. Your poem was lovely :) Thanks for cheering me up and thank you for being there in my time of need. I love you Alicia *hugs* You truly are a wonderful best friend *big smiles* Im looking forward to the future in hopes of putting all this madness behind me.

Im actually feeling alot better. Wow, we're making progress here. -hehe- Im listening to some BSB and Craig David and their music is putting me in a much happier mood. Yay! Ali, dont u start on my bsb :P Vanessa finally saw my hair. She's been gone all weekend long with her best friend, Dani. Thats why she hasnt seen my hair. I dont think she's used to the idea of the new do, just yet. She didnt say it looked bad nor did she say it looked good. You know how Nessa is...she can be critical at times. EW ! She downloaded Britney's new song. Ugh, it sucks. What was she thinking? Well...Aubrey will be going back to her dorm today. Boooo =| Im gonna miss her once again. I noticed she's been eyeing my new Skechers. Uhm...I dont think so chica. Hands Off! :) Since we're on the subject of shoes..I want more even though I have tons and tons of em. I know what will make me happier...a shopping spree. Someone take me please -LOL- Any takers? Anyone?

Ok, enough of this crap. I refuse to let this get the best of me. Moving on...I wanted to share this article with you all about us, Americans. It was from a Canadian newspaper. I thought it was worth sharing so here it is:

America: The Good Neighbor.
Widespread but only partial news coverage was given recently to a remarkable editorial broadcast from Toronto by Gordon Sinclair, a Canadian television commentator. What follows is the full text of his trenchant remarks as printed in the Congressional Record: "This Canadian thinks it is time to speak up for the Americans as the most generous and possibly the least appreciated people on all the earth.

Germany, Japan and, to a lesser extent, Britain and Italy were lifted out of the debris of war by the Americans who poured in billions of dollars and forgave other billions in debts. None of these countries is today paying even the interest on its remaining debts to the United States. When France was in danger of collapsing in 1956, it was the Americans who propped it up, and their reward was to be insulted and swindled on the streets of Paris. I was there. I saw it.

When earthquakes hit distant cities, it is the United States that hurries in to help. This spring, 59 American communities were flattened by tornadoes. Nobody helped. The Marshall Plan and the Truman Policy pumped billions of dollars into discouraged countries. Now newspapers in those countries are writing about the decadent, warmongering Americans.

I'd like to see just one of those countries that is gloating over the erosion of the United States dollar build its own airplane. Does any other country in the world have a plane to equal the Boeing Jumbo Jet, the Lockheed Tri-Star, or the Douglas DC10? If so, why don't they fly them? Why do all the International lines except Russia fly American Planes?

Why does no other land on earth even consider putting a man or woman on the moon? You talk about Japanese technocracy, and you get radios. You talk about German technocracy, and you get automobiles.
You talk about American technocracy, and you find men on the moon not once, but several times - and safely home again.

You talk about scandals, and the Americans put theirs right in the store window for everybody to look at. Even their draft-dodgers are not pursued and hounded. They are here on our streets, and most of them, unless they are breaking Canadian laws, are getting American dollars from ma and pa at home to spend here.

When the railways of France, Germany and India were breaking down through age, it was the Americans who rebuilt them. When the Pennsylvania Railroad and the New York Central went broke, nobody loaned them an old caboose. Both are still broke.

I can name you 5000 times when the Americans raced to the help of other people in trouble. Can you name me even one time when someone else raced to the Americans in trouble? I don't think there was outside help even during the San Francisco earthquake.

Our neighbors have faced it alone, and I'm one Canadian who is damned tired of hearing them get kicked around. They will come out of this thing with their flag high. And when they do, they are entitled to thumb their nose at the lands that are gloating over their present troubles. I hope Canada is not one of those."

Stand proud, America!

This is one of the best editorials that I have ever read regarding the United States. It is nice that one man realizes it. I only wish that the rest of the world would realize it. We are always blamed for everything and never even get a thank you for the things we do.

"...If only you read my mind
You'd see I was hurt inside
A thousand times I've told myself it's over
But the story has just begun
And whats done is done
It's time to change and leave the past behind
Why should we know all the answers
Or how the story ends
The past can stop a heart from mending
It's time to let go 'cause you know
Some things are better best forgotten..."

Im still debating if I should sleep. I said I was gonna but all this crying is keeping me awake. I hate being emotional. I've mentioned this before. Oh well.

Im going back to bed...hopefully, I'll get some rest. My head's killing me.

This is for Robert. I know you. I know how you are, and I know you'll be reading this.

What can I say? How do I even begin? I'm reading your memos all over again. You're right, I dont understand. I dont think I ever will, but thats okay. I dont care anymore. Right now, I can truly say I've stopped loving you. I've lost all respect for you.

"i dont know if i will ever have the guts to come talk to you again after this, but if i never do, i want the last words i ever say to you to be, i love you and i will miss you Sharon Kaye Hall"

Please spare me the bullshit. I know for a fact that you will never have someone like me or even come close. No one will understand you the way I do. I want nothing to do with you anymore so I'd appreciate it if you never contact me ever again. I would like to continue with my life as if you didnt exist and I'd advise you to do the same. Erase those three words that even came out of your mouth. My relationship with you is nonexistence. Im not going to say I wish you a happy life because thats not how I feel. Im not going to sit here and put up a big front like most people do. I dont want to wish you unhappiness either. I just want...I dont know what I want.

I tried to get some sleep, but couldnt. Too many things running through my mind. I tossed and turned. I cried and cried. Eventually, I fell asleep. I probably didnt fall asleep til 3 a.m. I woke up at 7:42 a.m. and remembered what happened. I cried once again. My head hurts, my hand hurts, my eyes hurt, my heart hurts...everything hurts. After three years of being together, Robert broke up with me. Im not going to sit here and lie to myself that this didnt cause me any pain because it did. Who wouldnt be? Right now, I really dont know what to say. I mean, I saw this coming. I knew deep in my heart this was going to happen, but why does it feel so shocking? I feel sad, yet angry. I know I shouldnt be mad, but I cant help it. This is how I feel and if I feel this way, so be it.
"You dont need him" You're right. I dont need him nor do I need any man for that matter. I was fine before I met him and I'll be fine after all this.

Im listening to Linkin Park's In The End right now.

"...the clock ticks life away
its so unreal
didn't look out below
watch the time go right out the window
trying to hold on but didnt even know
wasted it all just to watch you go
i kept everything inside and even though i tried, it all fell apart
what it meant to me will evetually be a memory of a time when...

I tried so hard
and got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
to lose it all
But in the end
it doesn't even matter

One thing I don't know why
Doesn't even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind I designed this rhyme
To remind myself How
I tried so hard
in spite of the way you were mocking me
actin like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me I'm surprised
it got so far
Things aren't the way they were before
you wouldn't even reconize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me
In the end
You kept everything inside and even though I tried it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when I..."

On a more somber note, Im gonna head for bed....got some things to think about. hmm...someone's advice keeps popping in my head which was "stop convincing yourself, you don't need him and let it hurt". I'll try.

Main Entry: cow·ard
Pronunciation: 'kau(-&)rd
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Old French coart, from coe tail, from Latin cauda
Date: 13th century
: one who shows disgraceful fear or timidity
- coward adjective

Coward, that is what you are Robert. You didnt even have the guts to say it to my face. You had to send it through memos, how nice. I have more to say, but not right now. Good riddance.

Oh, I just remembered. I saw Brian today. I said hi and stuph. I wonder if he noticed my hair? haha Ok, I'll stop for real. Anyway, I just read his blog. Oooh, I want some crab legs and steak. Gimme some, Brian =\
Btw, the answer to your question is "Yes, I am happy now" *big ol kool-aid smile*

Did I forget to mention that Alicia didnt get her credit card back from that cashier? She didnt realized it til later on in the evening. She called kfc and told em what happened. The manager gave her a hard time so she reported them. Look at this girl, she cracks me up everytime. We're on irc talking.

[1:13:20am] @Alicia-: they are reporting it to the managers
[1:13:24am] @Alicia-: and they will get back to me
[1:13:31am] @Alicia-: i called national headquartes
[1:13:33am] @Alicia-: and reported
[1:13:37am] @Alicia-: i want free chicken for a year
[1:13:38am] @Alicia-: lol
[1:13:47am] @rhapsodized: ROFL
[1:13:50am] @rhapsodized: LMAO
[1:14:49am] @rhapsodized: You are so ghetto haha

Today was such a fun filled day. Early in the morning, I went to the beauty shop to get my hair done. At first I wasnt going to, but Ali pushed and pushed til I gave in. So we went ahead and did it. I got my hair dyed and highlighted. Ali picked the color and everything. Of course, I trust her judgement thats why I asked her opinion. It took forever to get all that done though. You shoulda seen my face. I looked like I didnt wanna be there. I was kinda uneasy about the whole thing. I mean, this is like a total makeover for me. I've always saying Im gonna do this...do that, but never got around to it. Im such a procrastinator. Thats why Im so proud of myself that I got this done. At first, I wasnt really all that excited about the whole new do, but once I kept checking myself out (haha) I started to like it. Alicia thought it looked awesome. I hafta agree now on that one :P My hair is da bomb! -LOL- ok ok, I'll shuddup now. We headed for home. Aubrey and D.A. were gushing about my new look. Yay :) Aubrey was like "Oooh, I want mine done like yours". We went to KFC cuz we got hungry. So here we are at the drive thru. Alicia told the cashier she wanted to pay half on her card and the other with cash. The woman looked at her like she was from another planet. She's all like.."uh...". Ali had to explain it to her again. Sheesh..is it that difficult? Why did this idiot charged Ali for $10.85 when the whole bill was $25.85? Im not complaining though cuz we got lucky. -hehe- Later on that day, I went to work. blah. My whole day was pretty ok. Everyone kept complimenting how good my hair looked *cheesy smile* -hah- Oh lawd, Shawn showed up. He was all like "Sharon, your hair look so amazing. It's so pretty...the color looks great on you...yadda yadda yadda" You know how it is with Shawn. He's practically obsessed with me. Oh yeah, Marisol stopped by and totally loved the new do. She's like "it's so purdy". Gotta thank Alicia for all this...thanks gurl, everyone loves my hair :P Anyway, one my fave managers is back and he was closing tonite. I was like "Yesssssss....Bill's closing". Bill is so friggin cool, u can talk to him just about anything. Well, we got out at decent time so I was pretty happy about that. I rode home with Tish. Vanessa and Kimberly, co workers of mine didnt have a way home so Tish offered them a ride. We were in the car cruisin and jammin to some loud music when these bug a boo's pulled up next to us at the light. They were hanging out the window talking about "hey, slow down so we can holla at yall" AS IF! For awhile, they kept trying to catch up with us, yelling n shit. We were all like "Oh gawd". Tish finally sped up and lost them.

Anyway, there's this customer who wants to get with me. I just might make his day the next time he comes in the store. -LMAO- He seems ok. I mean, I dont know him all that well, but Im willing to give him a chance. He was pretty nice to me. My hair rawks! Ok, enough about the hair :P