Poor blogger...this is the end :( Oh well, I'm sure you'll get over it. haha Here's the new site ---> Rhapsodized

I feel so much better now! I can't help, but smile. See ---> :) hah..I know that was corny. Anyways, the air has been cleared between Robert and I. No anger or animosity between the two of us. We finally had a chance to talk about everything that has happened for the past week and we've come to the conclusion that we shall remain friends. I like that alot.
Also...Reci's here at my house. WoO hOo

It seems like I've been crying forever. I can't sleep. I dont really have an appetite for anything anymore. I desire to do nothing. I feel like I'm at an all time low. I feel alone. No one understands and I don't think anyone ever will. I hate this pain that I have to go through. I wish I could just forget everything and make it all disappear. I just wish I could stop crying. Everyone tells me I'll be okay. I'll survive. Will I? I didn't think it would hit me this hard, but it has. People tell me I'll find another. They tell me I don't need him and that it's about time we parted. They never did like him in the first place. They disapproved of our relationship from the beginning. Have they ever thought once about my feelings? I liked him. I enjoyed being with him. I loved him. Waking up every morning and realizing the person that has always been with you every day of your life isn't there anymore hurts. How can people fall out of love so quickly? How can they turn off their emotions just like that? Why do people lie? Why can't they be honest and upfront about their feelings? Why do they go on as if everything's alright? Why act like everything's perfect when it's not? How do they go on with other people and act like they didnt just get out of a relationship? How can you find someone so quick? You say you want to remain friends. After all I'm your best friend, your first gf, your first everything. You want to be able to talk to me about anything and everything...even when you meet someone new and you want me to be able to do the same. Is that possible? I can't even talk to you without shedding a tear and you expect me to do all that? You say you'll call because you want to keep in touch. You want to know what's going on in my life. You say you care. Do you or do you feel sorry for me? How about guilt? Do you feel guilty because you've hurt me? Or is it because you feel it's necessary for you to do so? You think you owe it to me? Spare me the bs. I don't want your pity.


"...I don't want you to give it all up
and leave your own life collecting dust
and I don't want you to feel sorry for me
you never gave us a chance to be

And I don't need you to be by my side
and tell me that everythings all right
I just wanted you to tell me the truth
You know I'd do that for you

So why are you running away?
Why are you running away?

I did enough to show you that I was willing to give and sacrifice
and I was the one who was lifting you up
when you thought your life had had enough
when I get close you turn away, nothing that I can do or say
so now I need you to tell me the truth
you know I would do that for you

So why are you running away?
Why are you running away?

Is it me? Is it you?
Nothing that
I can do
To make you change your mind

Is it me? Is it you?
Nothing that
I can do
Is it a waste of time?..."

I talked to Yonv last night. One of my oldest friend online. We met like in '99. It's been ages since we last chatted. Anyways, he introduced me to a great friend of his. We ended up talking til 2:30 a.m. Now, he's my friend too. Whoa..I got friends :P

Friday:
Went to to the beach and had an awesome time. The neatest thing happened there. I saw a real live dolphin! Vanessa, DJ, and I were swimming..minding our business when I saw this huge thing jump in the air from the corner of my eye. The first thing that came to mind was shark, but I was too shocked to say it. I yelled out "BIG FISH...SHARK!" Just like that...it wasn't even a complete sentence. Naturally, we all started running like crazy. When we safely made it to the shore, my other sister started laughing at us. She's all like "You big idiot, that was a dolphin, not a shark". *lol* Yeah well...I didn't know. I was too scared to find out what it was and besides I wasnt gonna try to. I just wanted to get out of the water right then and there.

Saturday:
Went to work...did the usual. Came home and got ready for Nessa's Confirmation. I couldnt wait to put on the new outfit I bought from Express which cost me about an arm and a leg. I looked pretty fly if I do say so myself. My shoes was was cute too! Nessa's outfit was nice aswell. She looked so angelic :P After mass, we all went out to eat at Pappadeaux. Vanessa's best friend, Dani and my friends Amira & Ali came too. I had so much fun! I'd go more into details, but yall know how lazy I can get *lol*

Sunday:
The whole family went to the Outlet Mall in Huntsville, Texas. We went shopping crazy!!!!! My mom spent so much stuff there. I got these cute shoes from Guess. Wanna see pixies of it? Here's one
and another one

Day 3 and I'm still trying to cope with the whole breakup. It's been really hard for me without getting all misty eyed at every lil thing that reminds me of him. I really hate him now. I wish I could forget about him easily. Ugh, this shit is making me depressed again.

Current Mood: sad
Listening 2: nothing
Consuming: nothing
Watching: nothing
Conversing w/: Brian
Novel of the Week: Running In Heels by Anna Maxtead
Random Thoughts/Quotes/Lyrics: Love sux



Robert and I are no longer a couple. It feels weird saying that. I always thought we were gonna be together, but I guess it just wasn't meant to be. I know someone's going to be like "I TOLD YOU SO", but that's not what I really want to hear right now. I've been crying all night long. Every "love" song on the radio made me teary eyed. Pathetic, I know. Hopefully, I'll get over this shit...soon. Ok, enough of that crap.
At work today, Larry's son kept flirting with me. I'm like...uh..how nice? He's only a lil kid...14 to be exact. I'm flattered I guess.